God's Voice vs. Satan's Voice

God is all that is good.

Therefore, God's voice:    Whereas Satan's voice:

Stills you Rushes you

Leads you Pushes you

Reassures you Frightens you

Enlightens you Confuses you

Encourages you Discourages you

Comforts you Worries you

Calms you Obsesses you

Convicts you Condemns you

Until recently, I was letting Satan push, worry, and confuse me. He was telling me that I was being unreasonable and hateful, while I was trying to follow what God said. I struggled until we read this in my Bible Study:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

-Ephesians 6:10-18

Listen only to God; His voice is the only One that matters.

Forgiveness = Losing?

On Wednesday, I asked my Bible Study leader to pray for me and a friend of mine. Our relationship has been headed south and I wanted guidance on what to do. I had been praying and praying for months without a clear answer. I asked her to pray because I didn’t know anything else to do. 

On Thursday, at a Bible Study at my school, one of my friends, Jason, taught a lesson. He started it by saying, “I’m going to teach on forgiveness today.” I immediately scanned through my life and decided that I didn’t have anything that I needed to forgive. I almost closed my ears to the lesson, but something, like a whisper through the walls of my soul, made me listen.

He used part of Tenth Avenue North’s song Losing and he spoke on forgiveness:

I can't believe what she said

I can't believe what he did

Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Maybe there's something I missed

But how could they treat me like this?

It's wearing out my heart

The way they disregard

Well it's only the dead that can live

But still I wrestle with this

To lose the pain that's mine

Seventy times seven times

'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right

For me to turn a blind eye

Though I guess it's not that much

When I think of what You've done.

Before that, I knew what forgiveness was –receiving mercy, grace, and having your faults let go of and forgotten – but I realized that forgiveness didn’t wait for the “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness is given before the other person is ready to be sorry. They may never be sorry. Forgiveness means you don’t expect an apology.

I had been expecting an apology.

For months.

I discovered, as Jason was teaching on forgiveness, that I hadn’t forgiven this other friend for even the things he had apologized for. 

I had been holding on to the anger and the wrong he had done to me. And because he had continued to do wrong to me, my feelings were renewed and strengthened. I was angry. Angrier than I thought.

It didn’t feel right for me to turn a blind eye. I had been wondering how he would learn to say sorry and how he would learn what I didn’t like if I always forgave him without him asking. It didn’t feel right to lose the pain that was mine. 

Jason also used a Bible verse in his lesson:

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. –Colossians 3:12-14, The Message

Be content with second place.  He kept saying that. Forgiveness is being in second place. Forgiveness is being happy with–and choosing–second place. Forgiveness is not winning, but losing. Losing, at least, according to the world’s definition. But to God, forgiving puts you at the front of the pack. The world’s last becomes God’s first.

Jason used the Super Bowl as an example of “losing.”

“Say the Ravens lose the Super Bowl. Think about if the Ravens go into their press conference praising the 49ers and how well they played, you know, “They played really well today and their teamwork was awesome. They’re a great team.” People will think they’re crazy. People will be like, ‘You lost.’  That’s like what forgiveness is.”

Forgiveness is crazy. It’s totally against our instincts. Our self-preservation tells us not to forgive, but to make the wrong-doers pay us back. But Jesus practiced forgiveness, even up until his death and then even after.

This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 

–Matthew 26:28

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. –Colossians 3:12-14, NIV

Now, my plan of action with this friend of mine is to forgive. No matter how much more he hurts me, I will forgive him. I won’t care how many more times; I won’t care what it is exactly that he says; I will forgive and then I will forget.

7x70, baby. 

Do you think forgiveness is crazy? How do "normal" people view forgiveness?

On Droughts and Blessings

“As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.” This is Elijah the prophet speaking in 1 Kings 17:1. This story is one of my favorites in the Bible. It is so bold and telling of how we need to serve the Lord.

The story starts in 1 Kings 16:29: Ahab became king of Israel and he “did more evil in the eyes of the Lord than any of those before him.” Many of the kings before Ahab, like Omri and Jeroboam, had done evil, but Ahab “considered it trivial to commit the sins of Jeroboam.” So Ahab committed those sins in addition to other sins, including the worship of idols. Ahab set up places of worship, such as Asherah poles and altars for Baal, and led the Israelites away from the one true God.  

Baal is the focus of the story in 1 Kings. This is one of those places that it’s important (MUY IMPORTANTE) to know some of the cultural and historical background that the Bible doesn’t cover. Here you need to know that Baal was the god of weather.

When Ahab wanted it to rain, he would pray to Baal. When the Israelites wanted it to rain, they asked Baal to send the rain. 

Image from http://nowiknow.com

God, through Elijah, told Ahab, “There will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.”
God withdrew the blessing of rain because the Israelites were worshipping Baal. “Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land.” There was a drought.
Israelites would cry to the “god of weather” and no rain would fall. The priests of Baal would cut themselves and no rain would arrive. None. God withdrew that blessing, because He will not bless his main competition. 

I realized this again today. I realized that God will not bless me in the things I put before Him.

I had been hearing a lot lately that whatever you think about most is what/who you worship. I had been thinking about this boy a lot. I had been steering conversations in order to talk about him; I had been texting him quite a bit; I had been stalking his facebook. I had been putting this boy before God.

I had forgotten what God has taught me. Freshman year and part of sophomore year, I was obsessed with a boy and nothing ever came of it. After that, I didn’t seriously like any boy for about 8 months or so. My focus was finally on God. My prayer life was prosperous (my prayers were being answered) and I felt so close to God. In that time (about 4 months), I got asked out twice and a half times.

When I wasn’t focusing on boys, I was getting boys. Why? Well, I wasn’t putting boys above God, so I believe God was allowing my “romantic” life to flourish.

Today, I realized that my focus was on this boy. Of course, I only realized this after a drought of three weeks. Three weeks of not seeing him, not talking to him. It was implied recently that he is (and has been) avoiding me.

I had been sent a drought.

The Israelites had rain taken away because they were worshipping rain, basically. I had the attention of this boy taken away because I was seeking his attention more than I was seeking God.

God will not bless his primary competition. He is a jealous God. (Exodus 34:14). In Deuteronomy 32:21, God said, “They made me jealous by what is no god and angered me with their worthless idols.”

God deserves our attention and He wants it; therefore, He will not bless everything that you focus on more than Him. Whether your main focus is work, school, grades, image, money, boys, it does not matter. You will not be blessed in that area as long as it is number one on your priority list.

The Israelites realize this in 1 Kings 18. In verse 39, after an amazing display of God’s power and the resulting humiliation of Baal, the supposed god of weather, the Israelites cried, “The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!”

Then Elijah said, “There is the sound of a heavy rain.” Soon after, in verse 45, “the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain came on...”

A Confidently Confused Letter (to God)

I said that only names will be edited and so that’s how it will be, but I have to say that I am embarrassed with this letter. In this letter, I asked for God’s help in understanding everything and yet I wrote that I knew I was right. Obviously, I wasn’t looking too hard for God’s answer. And that was the problem with this whole situation with my friend Ashley; she believed she was right and I believed I was right and we did not listen to anyone else. This was the issue, not cussing. Cussing was only a sign, a symptom, of the true problem. If only I had seen that then and not now, a year and a half later.

April 21, 2011

Hey. Me again. Now it is 2:00. I’m in social studies. I just talked to Zelda and Hope about Ashley (obviously You already know this, but I’m going to tell You anyway). Hope said that Ashley seemed different in a good way. That would obviously be You working in her heart, because I know I didn’t say anything that would really cause her to think twice. Please work in her heart more. Help her to realize You fully. Help her to realize that she doesn’t have to do anything to be loved by You. (Also helping her realize that we will be there for her would be nice too.) Zelda has obviously talked to her, because she was defending her! Why? She said that Ashley just wants to be able to do whatever. Is that really what she wants? That’s pretty much saying she doesn’t want to be a Catholic anymore, isn’t it? Because she doesn’t want to live for You. Zelda was mad at me. Why? She said that if I don’t want to hear the cussing I should stop hanging out with Ashley, and that this is why she wants to leave the group. Why is Zelda blaming me for Ashley not wanting to be friends with us? And why does she care? She and Ashley seem to be really good friends, just because they are both Catholics and share more of the same values. Why is Zelda sticking up for Ashley? Doesn’t she know that cussing is bad? I thought she didn’t want to hear it either. What’s up? I don’t understand. Please be with all of us.  I don’t know what to do or say. I know I’m right, because I know that the Bible says not to cuss. Why don’t Zelda and Ashley understand that? Do they even know that’s what the Bible says? Please tell them what the Bible really says. Tell them about Mary Magdalene and Your grace and love and everything else they don’t know and don’t fully understand. Please help Hope, Kristin, Clementine, and me not to say anything without knowing for sure that it comes from You. Please give me words to say and help me to do the right thing. Why does no one understand why it’s bad to cuss?

That was the end of the letter. I was so confused. But as confused as I was, I was still confident that I was right. I was not willing to listen to either God or to Ashley; however, I believed I was listening and simply not hearing a response from either of them.

Have you ever had an experience like this? Feel free to comment!