Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Psalm and Songs

May 6, 2011

Dear God,

Hey. I just want to start by saying that I’m sorry I put off writing another letter. I should have made time. I’ve been studying pretty much the whole day today (it’s Derby, so we have today off school), except a few breaks so I can concentrate better. I’m taking a break now. I’m alone at home, so I turned on some music. Casting Crowns’ Voice of Truth came on (I put it on shuffle on my iPod). I love that song. I wanted to find the Psalm he uses in part of it, so I did. I know You already know it, but I’m going to write it here anyway:

I lift my eyes to the hills-
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you-
The Lord is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over your life;
The Lord will watch over your coming and going
Both now and forevermore.
-Psalm 121

I know I don’t say thank You enough. And I know that sometimes I say it and don’t mean it. I’m saying it now and I’m really meaning it. Thank You. I think I’m going to make another list.

Thank You for always being there. I know I say this a lot too. Now, I really mean it (not that all the other times I didn’t, just now I mean it more). I don’t always feel You (because sometimes I’m not listening or looking for You), but You still make me realize You are there. I always remember when Maddie came and prayed with me. I wasn’t looking for You then, but You made Yourself known and really gave me peace. Thank You. Thank You also for just helping me to forgive myself for whatever part I played in driving Ashley away. I still don’t completely understand all that, but that’s okay. I know that You will use all that for Your glory. I don’t want to go on about Ashley anymore, because I have filled so many letters with stuff about her. This letter is about You and me and all the things I’m thankful for (okay, some of the stuff that I’m thankful for. There is no way I could say everything.)

Thank You for giving me the gifts and abilities I have. Thank You for my brain and that I have the ability to read and understand. Thank You that I can write (as in both the  ability to form words and put them on this page and the gift of being able to convey an idea well). Thank You for my imagination. Boy, writing would be really boring without it. Thank You that I have the ability to speak (once again both as in the ability to talk and the gift to be able to convey ideas effectively). I only wish (and pray) that I will have the confidence to speak. I can speak, I know that. I just can’t and I don’t understand why I’m so scared (well okay. I know I’m scared of saying something wrong and failing, but why am I so scared when I know that I know what I’m saying?). Please just give me confidence. Thank You for the growth this year (not physically, because I’m still only five feet five inches). Thank You for helping me discover more of who I am. Thank You for the confidence this has given me.

Thank You for everything that helped put me here, writing this letter to You. Thank You for everyone who has ever influenced my life. Thank You even for those people who have hurt me in some way (that’s not a lot of people, though. Thank You for that.), because I have learned more about myself and more about You because of those people. Just please help me not to hold any grudges against anyone. I realize now that they have helped me, but I tend to forget (or ignore) the things I decided in private when I’m in public.

Thank You for so many good Christian bands and amazing Christian authors. Thank You for David Crowder, Jon Foreman, The Afters, Brandon Heath, dc Talk, Casting Crowns, Hawk Nelson, Stellar Kart, Relient K, Aaron Shust, Abandon, Caedmon’s Call (I’m just a bus driver. Whoo!), Capital Lights, Chris Rice, Chris Sligh, Chris Tomlin, FM Static, Go Fish (Ladybug fryin’ on the sidewalk ), Kris Allen, Kristian Stanfill, Matthew West, Mercy Me, Newsboys, Nichole Nordeman, Plumb, Remedy Drive, Revive, Rush of Fools, Sanctus Real, Skillet, Sojourn, Steven Curtis Chapman, Storyside: B, Switchfoot (it seemed kinda unfair just to thank You for the lead singer ), tobyMac, Todd Agnew, and 33 Miles (and everyone who I don’t own a CD of). (Can you tell when I just started scrolling through iTunes? Hehe. That’s when they start going in alphabetical order.) Yeah. Thanks for all of the amazing bands. Thank You for the messages they tell through their music.

Okay, so I think I’m going to go back to studying (but I may try to write a little.) Talk to you soon.


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