I said that only names will be edited and so that’s how it will be, but I have to say that I am embarrassed with this letter. In this letter, I asked for God’s help in understanding everything and yet I wrote that I knew I was right. Obviously, I wasn’t looking too hard for God’s answer. And that was the problem with this whole situation with my friend Ashley; she believed she was right and I believed I was right and we did not listen to anyone else. This was the issue, not cussing. Cussing was only a sign, a symptom, of the true problem. If only I had seen that then and not now, a year and a half later.
April 21, 2011
Hey. Me again. Now it is 2:00. I’m in social studies. I just talked to Zelda and Hope about Ashley (obviously You already know this, but I’m going to tell You anyway). Hope said that Ashley seemed different in a good way. That would obviously be You working in her heart, because I know I didn’t say anything that would really cause her to think twice. Please work in her heart more. Help her to realize You fully. Help her to realize that she doesn’t have to do anything to be loved by You. (Also helping her realize that we will be there for her would be nice too.) Zelda has obviously talked to her, because she was defending her! Why? She said that Ashley just wants to be able to do whatever. Is that really what she wants? That’s pretty much saying she doesn’t want to be a Catholic anymore, isn’t it? Because she doesn’t want to live for You. Zelda was mad at me. Why? She said that if I don’t want to hear the cussing I should stop hanging out with Ashley, and that this is why she wants to leave the group. Why is Zelda blaming me for Ashley not wanting to be friends with us? And why does she care? She and Ashley seem to be really good friends, just because they are both Catholics and share more of the same values. Why is Zelda sticking up for Ashley? Doesn’t she know that cussing is bad? I thought she didn’t want to hear it either. What’s up? I don’t understand. Please be with all of us. I don’t know what to do or say. I know I’m right, because I know that the Bible says not to cuss. Why don’t Zelda and Ashley understand that? Do they even know that’s what the Bible says? Please tell them what the Bible really says. Tell them about Mary Magdalene and Your grace and love and everything else they don’t know and don’t fully understand. Please help Hope, Kristin, Clementine, and me not to say anything without knowing for sure that it comes from You. Please give me words to say and help me to do the right thing. Why does no one understand why it’s bad to cuss?
That was the end of the letter. I was so confused. But as confused as I was, I was still confident that I was right. I was not willing to listen to either God or to Ashley; however, I believed I was listening and simply not hearing a response from either of them.
Have you ever had an experience like this? Feel free to comment!
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